A prompt and a pearl

Today the isolation is getting to me, & here's what I decided to do about it

I’m very quiet these days. I’ve been off social media for a while, because, well, it was draining me and I needed a respite…but I confess I miss the community. I miss seeing pictures of and reading about what my friends are up to, a funny meme they found, a memory shared in our “on this day” features. I don’t miss everything else that comes with social media, which I trust you, reader, don’t need me spell out.

Winter on our land in the Hudson Valley

I continue to grieve and write and hike (when I can which these days hasn’t been much because of the snow) and lift weights and box and write and write and write. I’m in a solitary place because I’m embracing my inner introvert in middle age, and because this is just how I grieve, but the isolation is getting to me today, so I asked myself: What can you do to feel more connected? I came up with this:

Once a week I will be sharing a creative nonfiction (CNF) prompt. For how long I’m not sure, but I’m aiming for the entire 2024 calendar year.

Sometimes I’ll also share a writing tip/words of wisdom from me, a writer who has been working on a memoir for 15 years or so, has published many many essays, written two novels (one is published and one I hope to return to one day), co-wrote a handbook for young social activists, has taken countless writing classes and workshops, and has taught the craft of writing for more than ten years. In other words, I consider myself qualified to share these pearls.  Find my first prompt and pearl below.

CNF Prompt #1

In her seminal collection  Create Dangerously, Edwidge Danticat writes: “All artists, writers among them, have several stories—one might call them creation myths—that haunt and obsess them.”

Step 1. Write a list of stories that haunt you, that you revisit again and again in your memory &/or stories. Try to come up with at least three, and also try to include one that brings you joy.

Step 2. Pick one from the list & write for a minimum of  ten minutes with that story in mind. Focus on imagery and your senses. What do you remember seeing, smelling, tasting, touching, hearing? How does the memory feel in your body? Why do you think this memory has stayed with you so long? How has it shaped you? What does it tell you about who you were then and who you are now?    

(I once asked Toni Morrison about the creation myths that haunt her, and the way she said my name still makes me giggle and swoon. Her answer was also fantastic. You can watch it for yourself here at the 1:05:16 mark.)

Writing Wisdom Pearl:

Don’t listen to the advice seasoned writers give you unless it works for you. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that there’s no one size fits all way of being/becoming a writer. Most people will tell you what’s worked for them, but this might not be your way, and that’s okay.

I can’t stand the far too common narrative that says  “real writers write,” so if you’re a procrastinator, like me, you’re not a writer. This is utter bullshit. Some writers write every day. Some don’t. I go through spates where I write daily (I have a solid journaling practice that dates back to childhood), and there are still times when I don’t write at all. I think this is fine. You have to find what works for you.

You may be wondering: but how do I do this, Vanessa?

Experiment to figure out what combination of motivation, circumstances, and accountability work best for you. I know people who track their daily word count. (This would drive me mad!) Others thrive under the social pressures of a writing group, and some find deadlines help them produce more. Some writers who are parents write at night after the kids are in bed or in the morning before they wake up. I once read that Khaled Hosseini, then an internist, woke up at 5am to work on his novel The Kite Runner before his shift. It was only after his first novel’s success that he retired from medicine to write full-time. I’m not trying to shame you at all. I don't wake up at 5am to write. I never have.

What I am saying is: you can find a way that works for you, and that way is as legitimate as anyone else’s.

Also, keep this in mind: the urge to avoid hard things is human and part of the process, albeit a frustrating part.

Take it day by day. Step by step. Word by word. (Or bird by bird, as Ann Lamott says). And remember: You got this! Poco a poco, día a día. Little by little, day by day.

I believe in you. Stay gold.

With much love,

Vanessa