This was beautiful and a bit healing. My wound originates from a different direction. I am asking some big questions and reading other people’s experiences with pain and grief is helpful. I send my love to you. You stay teaching us. Abrazo amiga.
Thanks for writing about this. My mother is also a Jehovah’s Witness, though one who never left, and we’ve been estranged ever since I did 28 years ago. We’re in a no-contact phase now as well, and I’m in a similar spot to you: I’d rather not be but I have to be for my own well-being. I’m wishing you all the peace you can have in this life.
Vanessa, I'm so happy Notes led me here. This is a beautiful post. I ended things with my mother more than 20 years ago. Our first ending was when I was 25, in a sobbing heap on the floor of my apartment on the phone with her in utter disbelief of the cruel lies she was saying about me. We remained estranged for 5 years, then tried again. It didn't last long. Two years later, I realized nothing would ever change and kissed her, my stepfather and grandmother each on the cheek before I left, knowing that would be the last time I saw them...and it was. When I was 26, I had a great therapist who told me that I didn't have to have a relationship with my mother. And here I thought therapy was to fix me so I could deal with broken people. That understanding gave me the path to move on. I hope that your ache will fade over time as mine has. It's awful that we didn't get the parents we deserved, but we also don't deserve to carry their pain and anger, hurting ourselves and others along the way. It's always hard and awkward to say, "No, I don't have a relationship with my family," because the reasons are too complex explain. But it's necessary and healthy and right. I commend your courage and growth. And I hope this weekend will be lovely, happy and light. xo
Thank you so much for this message, for seeing me and sharing your story. I am being deliberate about my self-care this week. Today I went for a long drive through the countryside and collected wild flowers, which I bought home to create my first bouquet of the season. I am looking at it right now as I type. Big love to you, always.
Thank you. As someone who is estranged from her mother I appreciate this so much. I am going to share it with an online group that I'm a part of, where we talk about this a lot. I have good years and bad years with MD; I don't know yet what kind this is going to be but I appreciate this so much.
All of this.
This was beautiful and a bit healing. My wound originates from a different direction. I am asking some big questions and reading other people’s experiences with pain and grief is helpful. I send my love to you. You stay teaching us. Abrazo amiga.
Abrazos right back to you, fam. And thank you for always supporting my work & sharing love. May it ricochet back to you a hundred fold.
Thanks for writing about this. My mother is also a Jehovah’s Witness, though one who never left, and we’ve been estranged ever since I did 28 years ago. We’re in a no-contact phase now as well, and I’m in a similar spot to you: I’d rather not be but I have to be for my own well-being. I’m wishing you all the peace you can have in this life.
Vanessa, I'm so happy Notes led me here. This is a beautiful post. I ended things with my mother more than 20 years ago. Our first ending was when I was 25, in a sobbing heap on the floor of my apartment on the phone with her in utter disbelief of the cruel lies she was saying about me. We remained estranged for 5 years, then tried again. It didn't last long. Two years later, I realized nothing would ever change and kissed her, my stepfather and grandmother each on the cheek before I left, knowing that would be the last time I saw them...and it was. When I was 26, I had a great therapist who told me that I didn't have to have a relationship with my mother. And here I thought therapy was to fix me so I could deal with broken people. That understanding gave me the path to move on. I hope that your ache will fade over time as mine has. It's awful that we didn't get the parents we deserved, but we also don't deserve to carry their pain and anger, hurting ourselves and others along the way. It's always hard and awkward to say, "No, I don't have a relationship with my family," because the reasons are too complex explain. But it's necessary and healthy and right. I commend your courage and growth. And I hope this weekend will be lovely, happy and light. xo
Thank you so much for this message, for seeing me and sharing your story. I am being deliberate about my self-care this week. Today I went for a long drive through the countryside and collected wild flowers, which I bought home to create my first bouquet of the season. I am looking at it right now as I type. Big love to you, always.
I love the wild bouquet and taking such care of yourself. Big love to you, and to your aunt! She is a champion. xo
Thank you. As someone who is estranged from her mother I appreciate this so much. I am going to share it with an online group that I'm a part of, where we talk about this a lot. I have good years and bad years with MD; I don't know yet what kind this is going to be but I appreciate this so much.
V, So glad we are on the planet at the same time - and writing. You are such a gift!